When we teach clients about emotion regulation, we usually start with the skills focused on changing our reactions when we have intense emotions. From there we teach how to reduce your vulnerability to emotions. When you’re in situations that would usually prompt intense emotions, they’re not as intense as they could have been before you learned ABC PLEASE.
Accumulating Positives
Accumulating positives in the short term has you do one pleasant event every day. A pleasant event is anything that is enjoyable to you. When we are experiencing a lot of negative emotions, like anger, sadness, anxiety, shame, or guilt, it is very difficult to stay present or even notice when we’re experiencing positive emotions. It’s almost as if we’re in the negative at the “Bank of Positive Emotions”. So, when you start practicing this skill it might not feel like it is helping very much or it might be hard to stay present, but keep trying!
Accumulating positives in the long term is taking the steps to find your life worth living by taking steps to live for your values and beliefs. You determine what value you are wanting to focus on for now, so to do this you do need to know what your values are. From there you brainstorm goals that you want to achieve related to the value and pick the one you think would be easiest to start with. Then you come up with action steps you can take to reach the goal and take one step everyday.
Building Mastery
Building mastery is about reducing vulnerability by building mastery. All that matters is that you feel competent, confident, and in control. There are so many things that we can’t control and we can only control our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. It’s important to pick something that is difficult, but not impossible. If it is too easy then we aren’t mastering new things and if it is too difficult then we might get discouraged and give up. Some common things people build mastery in are learning a language, cooking, baking, art, photography, learning an instrument, etc. You can also build mastery in the DBT skills!
Cope Ahead
Unfortunately humans haven’t developed the ability to see into the future yet, so we have no idea what the future holds or how we’re going to react to things. We can’t literally practice how we’re going to respond in stressful situations, but we can imagine how we might react. You imagine yourself coping with a situation, going with the flow, and using skills effectively. That way when you’re actually in the stressful situation you know what to do and can do it easier. When you imagine using the skills to cope with the stressful situation, you are engaging the same parts of your brain that will be used when you actually do it. How you imagine using the skills is how you’ll most likely use the skills during game time. After you practice, make sure to do some self-care or use other skills.
PLEASE
When we take care of our body, we are taking care of our mental health. When our body doesn’t feel good, we won’t feel good mentally and vice versa. The PLEASE skills are all about the mind body connection.
- PL is for Treat Physical Illness: Taking medications or vitamins, going to the doctor, ect. Really doing whatever you need to do to maintain your overall health
- E is for Mindful Eating: Eating what is most effective for you, eating when you’re hungry, stopping when you’re full, and eating multiple meals a day. So if you are intolerant or allergic to different foods, maybe avoid those, especially if you don’t feel good after you eat them.
- A is for Avoiding Mood Altering Substances: Caffeine, alcohol, marijuana, nicotine, and other substances have an impact on our mood. When our emotions are elevated, consuming substances could cause us to engage in problem behaviors that we might not have sober. This isn’t saying you can’t ever have mood altering substances and consider avoiding them when you’re in emotion mind.
- S is for Sleep: Sleep is so important for every aspect of our functioning. We want to be getting between 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night. So if you are having a difficult time falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up not feeling rested, check out our blogs for tips and tricks to improve the quality of your sleep.
- E is for Exercise: Trying to get 30 minutes of exercise everyday to maintain physical and mental health. What you do is totally up to you, it could be more intense exercise or it could be less intense movement, like yoga or taking a walk. All that matters is that you are moving your body within your physical limits.
About the Author
Robyn Williams (she/her), M.A., LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in dialectical behavior therapy. Robyn works with teens and adults in a compassionate judgment-free manner to meet clients where they are in life. She helps her clients develop the tools they need in order to live their life worth living, and find what means most to them. Robyn believes that while therapy can be intimidating at times, it can be a conduit for personal growth. Click here to learn more about Robyn’s experience and therapeutic approach.