What You Can Expect to Change as a Result of EMDR Therapy-
In my previous blog “What Can You Expect to Change as a Result of EMDR Therapy- “Big T” Trauma,” I discussed the difference between “big T” trauma and “little t” trauma and went into more depth about what changes you can expect when “big T” traumas are healed. Another blog, “EMDR- Treats more than PTSD!” I wrote more about different types of trauma, how trauma for “little t” traumas can form and lead to diagnoses like generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, substance use disorders, and so on. I encourage you to read over those blogs as they’ll provide more information that relates to topics discussed here and may help gain a better understanding of this treatment. In this blog, I will focus more on what might change when “little t” traumas are healed and give you some of my own experiences so you can see what healing might look like.
As I stated in the blog regarding changes in “big T” traumas, there is no way for me to exactly know what will change if you sign up for EMDR. Just getting that disclaimer out of the way now. Some things that change with EMDR are drastic and easy to spot. For instance, if you were in a car accident and after that, you experienced intense fear of driving and, after processing that accident, you’re no longer experiencing that same fear when you’re driving. That would be a noticeable change you could experience. Some changes are more subtle- I joke that these are “sneaky” changes, and can sometimes go unnoticed. Those are the ones I’m going to be focusing on here.
Some background on me- I’m an anxious person with ADHD. While I don’t want to get too into specifics, because of the anxiety and ADHD combination, I tend to experience heightened emotions- I’m an emotionally sensitive person. I’ve had many experiences throughout my life that have contributed to my anxiety now and have led to my own self-beliefs about my worth, what I “should” and “should not” do/be/feel/etc. even if I know these beliefs aren’t rooted in reality. I’ve been working on healing these in EMDR and this is what I’ve noticed so far.
To get us started, I’ll give some specific examples. This situation in particular is what made me realize that I can be avoidant in some interpersonal conflicts, which was new information for me. I had been avoiding this person and feeling really anxious when I had to be around them. Then, one Monday a few months ago, I had a processing session with my therapist. It wasn’t even related to that situation with that friend. That same Wednesday, I found myself around that person that I had been so anxious around. I didn’t even think about it- I saw that person, smiled, and said, “Hey! How are you?” and held a brief conversation discussing pleasantries and walked away carefree. Just like that! So simple! I had wanted to do something like that for months and was just “all of a sudden” able to do so. And I didn’t have to muster up the courage, make this choice intentionally, prepare ahead of time for it, or anything like that. It just happened! After that processing session, whatever neural pathway this avoidant behavior and anxiety was a part of was healed and integrated into a more adaptive neural network- the dysregulation decreased and the maladaptive behaviors ceased. I was able to act more in line with my values and that regular source of dysregulation ceased to exist!
Another area that has improved with processing is I’m finding myself becoming more self-validating. While I am still working on this, I’ve noticed recently, after processing through certain memories and beliefs, I’ve been able to validate my experiences more often. This showed up after an argument with my significant other. Usually, after something like this, I’d reach out to some friends and tell them about it. They’d validate me and offer solutions. While this can be adaptive at times, I was using this as a way to “double check” that my emotions made sense because I wasn’t able to do that myself. Then, one day, my significant other and I argued. Afterwards, while I was dysregulated from the argument, I was able to tolerate the distress and use my skills I’ve learned as a DBT therapist to calm myself down, check the facts, problem-solve, and then have a conversation with my significant other.
Just like in the previous example, it felt so natural, I almost didn’t notice the change. It wasn’t until a few days later, when I was talking to my best friend, I alluded to some aspect of the conversation with my significant other and she stated she didn’t know what I was talking about. It was that moment that I realized I didn’t tell her about it because I didn’t feel like I needed to. I handled it all by myself! Even when I was dysregulated after that argument, I trusted my own experiences and was able to walk myself through that situation. I feel more confident in my experiences and when I do run situations past my friends, it’s not because I feel like I need to, but rather, it’s because I just want to update them on my life or because I want their insight on other things.
One of the really cool things about EMDR is that, when you start processing, you’re healing a neural network- not just a memory. The distinction is that when a neural network heals, everything on that network is impacted, even if you didn’t specifically work on that. While I only provided these two examples, there have been several areas of my life that have changed due to processing even though I didn’t specifically target those areas in processing. Because of this, with EMDR processing, healing can happen rapidly and you may start to notice improvements in areas you never expected or realized would improve. Sometimes they’re changes that are easy to spot because you specifically worked on them and it’s awesome when that happens. Other times, they’re less obvious changes, but worthwhile nevertheless. If you’re curious about what could change for you, come on in and we can get started on this process together!
If you want more help with skills like this, join our skills training groups or schedule with a therapist at CCDBT. We’d love to go more in-depth with this skill and many more like it!
About the Author
Maria Mangione (she/her), M.A., LPCC-S is a licensed clinical counselor who specializes in dialectical behavior therapy. Maria works to help people develop the tools they need to develop trust in themselves and build their life worth living. Maria believes in having meaningful connections with her clients and believes that therapy and healing can be fun. Click Here to learn more about Maria’s experience and therapeutic style.