Having trouble sleeping? Sleep plays a vital role in our emotion regulation, memory consolidation, and overall physical wellbeing. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, children between 6 and 12 years old should get 9 to 12 hours of sleep per night and teenagers from 13 to 18 years of age should get 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night. Adults over the age of 18 should get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. Of course, these numbers are estimates and each individual might require more or less sleep depending on various factors.
Many people can find going to sleep very frustrating. Sleeping is a deceptively simple activity, especially because we cannot make ourselves sleep by sheer effort. In fact, the more effort we put towards sleep, the less successful we are. If you find sleep challenging because your brain works the night shift, here are some Marsha Linehan approved tips for improving your sleep.
Have a consistent sleep schedule, even on the weekends.
The best way to improve your sleep is to train your brain to recognize sleep cues, behaviors that tell your brain “it’s time to sleep.” For example, if you go to bed at the same time each night, your brain will begin shutting down prior to that time in preparation for going to sleep. Adding behavioral cues such as a bedtime routine (such as brushing your teeth, reading a book, or listening to calming music) can also signal your brain to get ready for sleep.
Avoid anything longer than a 10-minute nap.
Although afternoon naps can be very tempting, research indicates they disrupt sleep cycles and lead to overall worse sleep quality. If you’re going to nap, try to avoid anything longer than 10-minutes.
Avoid caffeine, exercise, big meals, alcohol, or nicotine late in the day.
Having these later in the day can cause your body to have trouble shutting down when you’re trying to sleep. Consider running personal experiments to see how your sleep is impacted if you change the amount and/or timing of these substances.
Give yourself at least 30 minutes, but not more than an hour to go to sleep.
Because we can’t will ourselves to sleep, we must train our brains to associate our beds with sleep. You should stay in bed and try to sleep for at least 30 minutes. Staying in bed for longer than an hour while trying to sleep causes your brain to see your bed as a place to be awake, the exact opposite of what we’re looking for. If an hour passes, leave your bed and consider some of the tips below.
Don’t catastrophize!
Try to convince yourself that staying awake is NOT a disaster and that simply resting your brain and body by laying in bed can be useful. Avoid giving up on sleep and getting up for the day.
If you’re calm but wide awake…
Leave your bed, consider a light snack such as an apple or banana, and read a book or color. AVOID SCREENS
If you’re anxious and ruminating…
- Find ways to shift your thoughts by reassuring yourself that middle-of-the-night thinking is often not accurate and your brain might be a friendlier place in the morning.
- Try a 9 to 0 meditation- breath in deeply and slowly, saying the number 9 on the exhale. Then 8 on the next exhale, then 7, and so forth. When you get to 0, start again from 8. After saying 0 on the exhale, start again from 7 and then 6 and so on until you get to 1. If you reach 1, start over.
- Splash cold water on your face while holding your breath for 20-30 seconds to lower your heart rate.
- Read or listen to an emotionally engrossing novel to shift your emotions
- Mindfully focus your attention on the physical sensations of being anxious. Allow those bodily sensations to be there and attempt to observe them from a mindful distance.
If rumination doesn’t stop…
- If the problem is solvable, then solve it.
- If it’s not solvable right now, then follow the worried thoughts all the way to utter catastrophe and imagine yourself coping with it
If you continue to have difficulty sleeping, the Sleep Foundation has some very useful tools and resources to help. Also, consider scheduling an appointment with one of our therapists to determine if mental health issues such as anxiety, trauma, or depression might be impacting your sleep.
About the Author
Samuel Eshleman Latimer (he/his), Psy.D., is a clinical psychology postdoctoral fellow that specializes in dialectical behavior therapy and effective conflict management. Samuel also works to help people find relief from anxiety, trauma, and relationship distress. Samuel believes that people do not need to choose between learning effective techniques that are based on science and developing warm, genuine relationships, as both of these styles complement each other. Click Here to learn more about Samuel’s experience and therapeutic style.